just gotta say that things at home are spiralling out of control..

in times like this, i really need to stay strong..

Lord give me the strength.

Today's hall bash has officially affirmed my status as being too old for clubbing. No energy no mood for it anymore, even with the chicks around.

Guess I'm seriously looking to settling down. My youth on the wild side is up. 逝去日子。

Feel like I have just hit a quarter-life crisis. Feeling kinda lost in life. Wonder how things will pan out over this academic year. Fucks.

Then again, I am actually very content with my life. Great friends and family, nice schooling life, awesome hall life, good health and fitness, girls etc.

What constitutes a great day alone for me :

Wake up at noon. Have a good heavy brunch.
Go back to take a short 2 hour nap.
Wake up again, wash up and head to the gym. Gym for 1 hour.
Swim after gym for 1 hour. Sun tan and static exercises on the suntanning deck.
Have a great heavy dinner.
Head home for a shower.
Watch a good movie on Funshion.
Watch a soccer match(if happen to have any live matches)
Drink some whiskey while watching TV
Off to bed.


Peaceful

I'm feeling happy for everyone. Great to see you so happy, could see it from your eyes.

Feeling good during this holidays. School is about to begin though. Orientation shit gonna start, but I'm feeling kinda too old for such things.

Sources of motivation are hard to find at times. But I have found some lately.

I guess not many people blogs nowadays. I'm blogging because I'm just rreally farking bored and not sleepy yet (3:36am right now).

Here's to a good academic year ahead.

Stumbled upon an abandoned blog of my Sec sch friend. Read a post written in 2004. Saw a nice description of the class people, including myself. Evoked lots of nostalgia, and really set me thinking. How some have fallen far off early high expectations, how some have risen up and hit it big, how much all of us have changed (some bordering on the extreme).

I miss those times. I may be having fun now, but there are way too many "what if"s looming around in my mind. Different paths that I could have embarked on in the past. Really wish I could see how different decisions would have panned out.

Why the f I am writing all this now at 3am, when I am supposed to cram for an upcoming exam, I have absolutely no idea. I have totally lost the motivation to mug hard. University life is about learning, not just studying books. Learning comes in so many forms. This is also the last few years whereby you can really enjoy yourself, make stupid mistakes and pranks, drink your asses off and just skip lectures the next day.

Oh fuck I feel slightly more enlightened.

I guess I wasn't the best person to do the job to begin with. Just a committed person who has given his all to complete the task.

Made it through. Could not have done it better, but perhaps they could have chosen a better person for the responsibility.

I am not doubting myself. Not at all. Just that the role needed someone who had much more experience and past achievements, and much wider networking in the field of sports.

For the first time in my life, I have truly experienced real politics, constant pressure, rigours of time management, physical and mental fatigue, and feeling of getting fucked in public. Guess this is all part of learning. All these for being the sports director of my hall. At times, I wonder why I am putting in so much effort for all this. Passion? Perhaps initially. However, after some time, the enthusiasm runs out and I guess im doing it simply because I have taken up this role already, and it is only right and responsible of me to see it through.

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I already feel stronger. Once you have been knocked down, you gotta get back up, and from there, you become less fearful, and become more ready to take on anything.

The journey is coming to an end. 21 Feb marks the end of the interhall games. Currently my hall is joint 3rd. Target is 3rd, so if the hall manages to attain that ranking, I will become legendary for years to come. If fail to do so, I will most probably be forgotten very quickly, part of the cycle where past leaders get kicked away and and new people will step forth and claim they can do a better job. (Next year will be difficult, so good luck to the next sports director)

Because of this, I have totally ignored academics at the moment. No time for attending some lectures, let alone revision. Gotta catch up big time once every shit is over.

Til then, Happy chinese new year everybody, and enjoy the break~



Cheers