woah fucking long since the last post.

finally found some free time, so decided to update a little bit.

now in the midst of exams, just ended 3 major papers. last 2 papers are kinda slack, so kinda in holiday mode.

life has been mainly focused more on hall activities than academics. being sports director is shag, but farking exciting. inter hall games is coming up next semester, and lets hope the hall will shine and hit 3rd position.

other than that, life hasnt changed much since the last post. just a more haggard fuck-care person. feel like shit most of the semester, mainly due to lack of sleep. thanks to 4 days of 8 am lectures (when i sleep at 3am plus everyday and gotta wake up at 7am).

at least this semester is coming to an end. quite a good sem, learnt alot.

maybe because I am more slack in academics for this semester, i don't really feel a strong burning desire for a holiday. though i really really dont mind one. batam perhaps.

looking forward to dec holidays, though theres gonna be a bloody week of reservist. like wtf.

other than that, december is all about sports training and fitness building. lets go.

meanwhile, 2 more exams to go. oh and I just completed the download for football manager 2011. awesomez.

today, a dream of mine has died.


it's over.


i fucked up



what a rollercoaster ride.



sigh.

Just found out that

My VJ friend has taken his own life.


This all doesn't make sense.

Life is fucking fragile.

Confusing.

Fuck.

This is beautiful


Breaking Out Of Your Comfort Zone

I used to have a comfort zone where I knew I couldn't fail.
The same four walls and busywork were really more like jail.
I longed so much to do the things I'd never done before,
But I stayed inside my comfort zone and paced the same old floor.

I said it didn't matter that I wasn't doing much.
I said I didn't care for things like diamonds, cars and such.
I claimed to be busy with the things inside the zone,
But deep inside I kept longing for some victory of my own.

I couldn't let my life go by just watching others win!
I held my breath and stepped outside to let the change begin.

I took a step and with new strength I'd never felt before,
I kissed my comfort zone goodbye and closed and locked the door.

If you are in a comfort zone afraid to venture out,
Remember that all winners at one time were filled with similar doubt.
A step or two and words of praise will make your dreams come true.
Greet your future with a smile - success is there for you.

Focus on your Dream, Jeffrey D. Smith

So yeah, my appointment has been officially confirmed.


What have I done.

mild alcoholism

Made a U-turn.



I have applied to be the SPORTS SECRETARY FOR RAFFLES HALL.



Hope I made the right decision.

" If you love someone, tell him or her . Forget about the rules or the fear of looking ridiculous. What is truly ridiculous is passing up on an opportunity to tell someone that your heart is invested in him or her."

I DON'T KNOW HOW TO TELL YOU.

我爱的人不是我的爱人

她心里每一寸都属于另一个人

她真幸福幸福得真残忍

让我又爱又恨她的爱怎么那么深

well it's been a long time since I had a absolutely fucked up horrid day. So I had it today.

I'm having insomnia. Fuck.

Its really sad..that this awesome semester is coming to an end.

This semester has really changed my life. Partly thanks to hall life. Had a fair share of ups and downs. And I'm glad my newly adopted mentality towards academics has made life so much more meaningful. Just hope that more people can do the same in toning down the intensity. Let's stop this bullshit rat race.

Of course, I am not advocating the abandonment of studies. It's YOUR responsibility as a student to put in your best in academics. It's about individual integrity, and understanding what your duty is. Your family do not want to see you go to school and then place studies on the back burner. It's about morals. There's nothing wrong to pursuing what you like, but dammit, you are still a student. And so do it like a responsible adult.

Made a tough decision several weeks ago. The hall main committee requested me to join them as the Sports Secretary (in charge of the entire sports scene of the hall). I gave it serious consideration, but ultimately, rejected the role. I have great dreams and ambitions. Imagine the glory, the respect, and the rewards of holding such a key role. But the reason for rejecting is that I'm not going to let my lofty ideals blind the reality. I am definitely not ready for such a major commitment, especially since I am still relatively new to the hall. Also, not that I am shunning away from work, but my hall is going to organise Inter-Hall Games next year, and it's going to create a heavy workload for the sports secretary.

Although I know it's going to be an exciting challenge, I still remember the fact that I paid school fees primarily to study, not to put all my energy and time into serving the hall. Next year is going to be hectic in terms of academics, and I am afraid I am unable to give my full commitment to the role. Hence, at the moment, I believe rejecting the role is the best option for the hall and myself.

However, I am looking forward to joining the committee in Year 3. I wanna get some real kick-ass fun and experience as a key appointment holder.



As for now, it's exam time. After 3 May, I will be freaking free like a bird all the way till August. Bring it on.

I'm fucking unhealthy at the moment. Lots of fucked-up ailments currently.

Time to truly change my ways.

No more ridiculous supper nonsense.

Gotta start running more. Gym more. Eat better. Avoid all vices. Sleep early and sleep more. Study less.

I need motivation.

i am thankful and grateful for all the friends i have..i love you all

woke up this morning feeling like shit..not physically, but mentally and emotionally.

last night was just full of mixed emotions. didn't know it was possible to feel happiness and sadness at the same time. when you are near something you really want, you feel elated. But when you remember that you do not truly own it, depression sets in.

mid terms are over. time to relax for a while. but so much work to catch up on, because i have been ponning too many lectures.

i need a drink

The Square Root of 3

I'm sure that I will always be
A lonely number like root three

The three is all that's good and right,
Why must my three keep out of sight
Beneath the vicious square root sign,
I wish instead I were a nine

For nine could thwart this evil trick,
with just some quick arithmetic

I know I'll never see the sun, as 1.7321
Such is my reality, a sad irrationality

When hark! What is this I see,
Another square root of a three

As quietly co-waltzing by,
Together now we multiply
To form a number we prefer,
Rejoicing as an integer

We break free from our mortal bonds
With the wave of magic wands

Our square root signs become unglued
Your love for me has been renewed

From Harold and Kumar movie

man what the fuck is wrong with me

eye candy vs love interest..i need to sort myself out.

Dammit i'm hooked by her. lol orientation has begun, and she happens to be in my OG.

Ok enough abt that.

Hall life is awesome. The way I put it is, it's like army, minus the shit discipline, but with the fun, and PLUS girls.

It's 4am. Just came back from supper with hall peeps. I realise I have not been studying. Then again, it's only Week 2. Am I stressing myself? Or am I really losing track of my priorities?

Let's wait for Week 3 and see.

Today, God answered my prayers.

Morale going up. Hope things continue rising up.

morale fucking low

Shag day. Woke up 920am, travelled with roommate to hall room. Cleaned up, unpacked, explored the hall, went IKEA to buy furniture, walk all the way.

HALL LIFE HERE I COME.

Tomorrow is going to be a monumental day. Because I will be moving into my hall. Here we go, an exciting chapter of my life commences.

Holidays ending soon. Next semester is going to be the most slack semester in the whole of my 4 years in NUS. Let's savour it.

Resolutions for 2010.

- Be a nicer and more amicable person

- Fully enjoy uni life, living and studying with no regrets

Can't think of much now. Time to slack. I'm used to not using my brain.

Dammit Muhammad Ali is my new hero.. not solely because of his legendary abilities, but because he is so damn quotable with all his great ideas, poems and rhymes.


- “Only a man who knows what it is like to be defeated can reach down to the bottom of his soul and come up with the extra ounce of power it takes to win when the match is even.”

- "The fight is won or lost far away from witnesses -- behind the lines in the gym, out there on the road, long before I dance under those lights."

- "Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee...
Your hands can't hit what your eyes can't see."

- “I'm not the greatest; I'm the double greatest. Not only do I knock 'em out, I pick the round!”

- " I hated every minute of training, but I said, ''Don't quit. Suffer now and live the rest of your life as a champion.” ".

- "It isn't the mountains ahead to climb that wear you out; it's the pebble in your shoe"

- “I never thought of losing, but now that it's happened, the only thing is to do it right. That's my obligation to all the people who believe in me. We all have to take defeats in life.”

And this is one of my favourite Ali poems :

“You think the world was shocked when Nixon resigned? Wait till I whup George Foreman’s behind. I done something new for this fight, I done rassled with an alligator! I done tussled with a whale! I done handcuffed lightning, throwed thunder in jail! Only last week I murdered a rock, injured a stone, hospitalized a brick. I'm so mean I make medicine sick!”



Cheers to 2010. 2009 has been a great fulfilling year. But school kinda spoiled the fun.